Buffalo Sock Monster
Just when I thought everything was in place at home, enter the Buffalo sock monster.
Our Los Angeles sock monster lived in the dryer and randomly ate one sock from a pair, rarely spitting out any old socks. I outsmarted it by buying bags of the same socks, so that I could always match a solitary sock with a new mate. The only problem was that my sock drawer had so many socks, there were some I didn't wear for years (or maybe ever).
Since we didn't bring our washer and dryer to Buffalo, I figured we were sock monster-free. I was wrong.
We now have a Buffalo sock monster that refuses to stay in the dryer (I suspect it lives in the attic crawl spaces). Its territory includes the entire house. Our monster enjoys a wide and unusual variety of food, including cell phone charger wires, my glasses, a jewelry box clasp, a Winnie-the-Poo pot holder, and some utensils that will cost me about $85 each to replace. Our monster may also have spirited away a funnel, but I have to look through our kitchen cabinets before I can say that for certain.
Bless its little heart, at least our monster returns an older stolen item for a new one. It must have limited storage space. After it stole my glasses, it left the jewelry box clasp, which was missing for about two months, under the bed.
So, somewhere in the house, there is a furry little critter wearing mismatched socks while it charges a couple of old cell phones. When it gets hungry, it wears my glasses to read the microwave instructions on the package of food stolen from the freezer, puts the microwaved food container on the pot holder, and eats with a tablespoon and salad fork.
If the monster drops off my glasses at your home, let me know, ok?
